I’ve received two great gifts recently.
(1) A leather book cover sized specifically for the type of journal I use. It’s expertly hand-stitched and has burnished edges. It is a pleasure to look at, touch, and smell every day.
(2) A bottle of Czereśniówka, a Polish liqueur our neighbor made and gave to my family. She told us the history and had us participate in the customary way of drinking it (shots before, during, and after dinner). The bottle has a custom label and was sealed in a way you would expect from a bottle at a store.
Some of the best gifts are things your recipient wants but can’t get themselves. While I can buy mass-produced liqueur and journal covers, I can’t buy the meaning behind these ones.
To know what your recipient wants, understand their problems and what they value. It helps to keep notes throughout the year on these things.
To give what your recipient can’t get themselves, draw on what you can offer that your recipient may not have.
Knowledge — Knowing something that helps you choose well, like if you have exceptional style
Access — Being able to get something the recipient couldn’t easily find or obtain, like buying things while in another country
Time & Effort — Putting work into finding, making, preparing, or presenting the gift
Skill — Bringing craftsmanship or expertise to what you give
Money — Spending resources to make the gift possible or add quality
The areas you combine give a gift its meaning. The book cover reflects time, effort, and skill honed over a lifetime of making. My neighbor’s knowledge and access to her Polish roots give the bottle a history that can be reflected on every time we drink it. I couldn’t have acquired either gift myself.
A common mistake is thinking gifts are things you have to buy because it’s what we do for children. Children find purchased gifts meaningful because they are broke. Once they can buy things themselves, the other elements matter more.
So to give good gifts, pay attention to what your recipient wants and can’t get, develop skills, and pay attention to the details. It could be as simple as giving freshly baked bread (as long as it’s good). Write some unique words along with it and wrap it to show you care.
In a world where so many items are soulless and uninspired, give the gift of meaning.
Thank you to Grandma, Nick, and Eve for help with this post.